Big Foot Found Dead, Age Unknown.

Of course when you find one of natures greatest mysteries and you’re American, the first thing you should do is kill it. Now to the untrained eye that up there might just look like a stinking pile of wet shag carpet with a gorilla mask and some uncooked sausages, but to seasoned Big Foot hunters like Mathew Whitton, Tom Biscardi, and Rick Dyer, this is in fact a 7 foot tall Big Foot carcass they found somewhere in Georgia. And now it’s in a freezer.

from their site:

Here are some of the vital statistics on the “Bigfoot” body:

*The creature is seven feet seven inches tall.
*It weighs over five hundred pounds.
*The creature looks like it is part human and part ape-like.
*It is male.
*It has reddish hair and blackish-grey eyes.
*It has two arms and two legs, and five fingers on each hand and five toes on each foot.
*The feet are flat and similar to human feet.
*Its footprint is sixteen and three-quarters inches long and fiveand three-quarters inches wide at the heel.
*From the palm of the hand to the tip of the middle finger, its hands are eleven and three-quarters inches long and six and one-quarter inches wide.
*The creatures walk upright. (Several of them were sighted on the same day that the body was found.)
*The teeth are more human-like than ape-like.
*DNA tests are currently being done and the current DNA and photo evidence will be presented at the press conference on Friday, August 15th.

One of the most reputable new sources in the world, Fox News has a story on youtube.

So apparently they had the thing in a freezer and they tried to get it to freeze in a block of ice by filling the freezer with water which broke it. Deary me.

I wonder what this will yield. Surely just some viral marketing campaign. Sure is working so far!

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